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When the Waiting Ends

 I have less than one week left of summer vacation.  One week to soak up time with my kids before I step into a new season I thought wouldn't come for a few more years- if ever.   Back in January, I wrote about holding dreams tightly in the heart and loosely in the hands. In the midst of a Bible study with friends, I had come to the point of accepting I may never serve families and children with special needs in the capacity I desired again. I had come to the point of saying, "Volunteering for  Buddy Break  may be where I serve. I'll show my kids how we love on these families. I'll let you (Lord) use me where you will. You gave me this heart for these families. Lead me to where I should go and guide me in how to serve. Help my heart to be content in this season. " Fast forward to April sometime. I was sitting with my dear friend, sipping lattes at our favorite spot, enjoying our once weekly coffee date. Special ed came up (naturally, as she's a teacher). The
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Making Your Quiet Time Count

  Why is it, so many of us have an unrealistic expectation and idea of what Bible study  needs  to look like? Perhaps we have watched others have “successful” Bible study by spending hours studying and journaling. Maybe we have experienced a retreat-like environment, where we were able to shut off all the noise and soak in the presence of God, so we crave that same experience every time we sit down with our Bible.   I always want my devotion time to be fruitful, but I realized I had placed an unbelievably high expectation on myself for making my time with the Lord “perfect” and “pretty.” Sometimes, my quiet time is far from quiet.  But that doesn’t mean the Lord doesn’t speak to me.  Here are three intentional steps to help you make the most out of your quiet time in the Word  —  regardless of what is going on around you! 1 -  Pray for eagerness and a heart change ( Hg 1:1-11 ). In the book of Haggai, the remnant of Israel has returned out of captivity in Babylon to rebuild the Temple.

The Fight

Motherhood is hard. If I say anything about the stress or anxiety I feel within this current season of being a stay-at-home mom of littles, I am often met with responses like "You are so blessed to stay home!" "That's motherhood!" "The days are long, but the years are short." "Soak it up while they're small."   Now, while I am sure all of these saying are true and well-meaning, they're not helpful. In fact, I would like to add that it just kind of layers on the guilt that I already feel for not wanting to homeschool my kids and not particularly "loving" every second of everyday.  It seems to be common for others, including other moms, to make light of the hard stuff. Maybe it's taboo. Maybe it is just so uncomfortable to talk about, we just avoid it all together in the name of seeing the glass "half-full."  I am beyond blessed to be a stay-at-home mom right now. I love my kids more than words. But, there are da
Well, I officially broke my streak by taking a month break in March.  Now, it is nearly the end of April and here I am just getting to writing words for this month.  To be honest, I'm struggling as the reality of my one good friend moving away is closing in. It is such a bittersweet time. I am beyond thrilled and excited for her new adventure; for the new chapter ahead of her! But, I am also selfishly wishing she didn't have to go.  Making friends, no matter your age is hardly easy. Maybe my expectations of what true friendships look like is too high. Maybe... just maybe there are other people who long to have real, vulnerable relationships. I know, I wrote about this in February; I'm obviously passionate about authentic friendships.  However, I'm learning a good, hard lesson in this season of loneliness (while ironically surrounded). As I continue to make spending time in God's word part of my everyday routine, I am learning even more about what it means to find my

Pouring In to Build Up

  Relationships.   They're sticky and scary; often surface level.  In my own experience, it seems folks don't want to lean into relationships with authenticity and vulnerability. Instead, we often keep walls up to keep ourselves safe and others at a distance. After all, who has time to pour into another person, right? Who really wants to know messy stuff happening behind the scenes? Wrong. The problem, in my personal opinion, is we don't realize the great responsibility we have to one another.  We were literally made for relationship.  We are told in the Bible to build one another up. (1 Thess. 5:11) Love one another. (Romans 12:10, John 15:12, 1 John 4:11) Encourage one another. (Hebrews 10:24-25) Walk with and teach one another. (Titus 2:2-8) And for some reason we refuse to do that.  As I continue to grow in my personal relationship with Christ, I am learning to see the areas and spaces around me that (honestly) need a complete overhaul.  As a teenager and young adult, I

A Dream: Held Tightly in the Heart, Loosely in the Hands

We live in a society full of big dreams and dream chasers. Multiple outlets telling us to never give up chasing our dreams, to keep dreaming big, but that often looks like us being encouraged to actively pursue said dream in some tangible way. Otherwise, you’re “letting your dreams die.” What if we began holding our dreams tightly in our hearts, recognizing God has placed a strong pull in our lives towards something, while also holding those dreams loosely in our hands?  Consider the strongest desire of your heart; the dream in you that you so badly want to pursue. Have you surrendered it to God lately? Have you gone to him and asked, “Is this dream for ME? Or am I preparing the way for someone else?” We read in 1 Chronicles 28 David’s charge to Israel. He explains in verses 2-3 his heart’s desire to build a house for the Lord and how he had already planned it out. But, God says to him, “You may not build a house for my name, for you are a man of war and have shed blood.” (v.3 ESV)  We

A Christmas Prayer

 December, the holiday season, Christmas.  This time of year brings me more stress and anxiety than it does joy on most occasions.  However, this year (2020), I am trying my best to keep my heart and mind focused on Jesus. The past few years, we as a family have had a short Advent devotional/story we read through each night. The first few days are fine, but then I quickly become irritated and overwhelmed by "one more thing to do." Forgetting completely about Jesus. Wishing it would just be December 26th.  Something is different in me this year. Yes, I still have my frantic, overwhelmed moments and days. Yes, I still feel anxious about the extra stuff that comes with the holidays. But, my heart is much  more focused on Jesus .  As a mom, I want to control many things; I've actually always been this way, motherhood just exasperated it. I'm slowly, daily, learning and being reminded I'm not in control of everything .  My prayer in this season has become: Lord, help