Barefoot

I remember feeling anxious one morning before going on the platform to lead my college peers in worship. I remember feeling a rush of the Holy Spirit come over me, "You're standing on holy ground."

I was shaken. Confused. Liberated.

I asked the campus pastor if I could take my shoes off. His answer: "Go for it!"

There I was, walking onto the stage to lead worship, barefoot. I definitely remember feeling silly, especially when I had friends ask me where my shoes were. From that day on, for a season, every time I led worship with my incredible team, I was barefoot.

I know, it sounds crazy.

In Exodus 3, Moses has an encounter with God via a burning bush. He sees the bush on fire, but not quite engulfed, and thinks he'll take a look around to maybe see what the heck is going on. How is this bush on fire, but not completely on fire? But, he doesn't get the chance to investigate.

Take a look at what it reads in verses 4-6:

When the Lord saw that he turned aside to see, God called to him out of the bush, “Moses, Moses!” And he said, “Here I am.”  Then he said, “Do not come near; take your sandals off your feet, for the place on which you are standing is holy ground.”  And he said, “I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.” And Moses hid his face, for he was afraid to look at God.

I don't know about you, but if a voice came from a BURNING bush and started talking to me, I'd be gone. 

But, Moses answered. God called him out by name. Moses didn't run scared, he stopped and said "Here I am." God makes clear his sovereignty with the instructions to not come any closer and to take his shoes off because the ground was HOLY. Then God goes on to list who HE is. Then, HE reveals a plan and promises to free the people of Israel from the hand of the Egyptians, using Moses as the vessel to do so. He tells Moses how he will equip him for all of this. And out of a reverent fear, "Moses hid his face." (v.6)

In that moment, when I was anxious, questioning my ability to lead a team and a college campus in worship, God reminded me the stage I was about to stand on was not just a stage. It was holy ground. 

I was in my early 20s. You can imagine there were somethings going on inside of me. I was still discovering who I was as an individual. As a leader of a team. As a peer. As an aspiring teacher. As someone who longed to know God, but had obstacles in my way I still had to navigate and work through. There were so many things holding me back- things I let hold me back. 

I was in my own way. I had walls built high and wide; determined to not let anyone in.

But God broke through all of that. 

He called out to me in the midst of fear, revealing that this thing I was doing, leading worship, wasn't about me, my talent, or even my leadership. It was about HIM. It was about HIM working through me. He had a plan and I was a vessel. 

The thing I needed to know in that moment, in that season, was that each time I stepped up on that stage to lead worship with my amazing team, I was on holy ground. Not a performance stage. 

I'm still human, so the anxieties were still there, but they were quieted. And I as began to walk through the process of healing to freedom, I became more confident in how God was equipping me to lead. How he was preparing me to walk in the calling he had placed on my life.

He gave me absolutely everything I needed. He surrounded me with mentors and teammates who encouraged me to listen to the voice of God. Friends who knew when something was going on inside of me and could ask "How are you?" and I'd give them a real answer; or at least a sarcastic one we could talk about later.  

 There are times since graduating and transitioning to leading with teams at my local church that I have wanted so badly to kick off my shoes, dance, and let the Spirit move. But I also realize there are other things to consider: environment, congregation dynamic, time. Just because I consider my environment, the dynamic of the congregation (leaving my shoes on and dancing feet at home) doesn't mean the Spirit of God is squelched either. 

My goal as a worship leader is to lead the people around me to the throne of God. If taking my shoes off while being on stage is a distraction for the majority, I'm not going to do it. And honestly, I follow the lead of the Spirit on this and then ask whichever church leader is around if it would be okay- just like I did that day in chapel. 

Removing my shoes that morning wasn't for anyone else but me. It was something I felt the Holy Spirit lead me to do -  but I didn't do it without first receiving confirmation. Something inside of me shifted in that moment too. It was a symbol, a simple practice that helped to remind me, shoes or no shoes, the ground was holy. The time was ordained by God. And with HIM, I could walk into what he was calling me to without fear. 

Moses didn't just run into Egypt and demand freedom for his people. He followed the instructions of God. 

In a similar way, I don't waltz into a church environment and lead how I want. I go in prayerfully prepared, following the lead of the pastors in leadership, and I keep my heart and mind in line with the Spirit of God. 

There are other ways for people to see and feel the power of God. It doesn't have to be some grand gesture, burning bush, or amazing experience. God can make himself known in even the mundane, wrong notes, and projection screen mishaps. 

The point is, listen to His instructions. It may seem odd sometimes. It may be something that needs to be confirmed by another spiritual head. But God doesn't lead us into situations without equipping us. 

***Disclaimer: I fully believe we should be able to worship however we feel led with no judgment or worrying about what will be said. But, I also realize that isn't always possible. This is why I prepare my heart and spirit each week I am part of a team. I trust the Holy Spirit will do his work no matter what. Not everyone will always be pleased, but holding back something I feel the Spirit doing is not beneficial to the Church either. This is why I encourage leading in the Spirit, while also being in line with the vision of the church and receiving confirmation from the pastor(s) who have been ordained and equipped to lead the church you are in. And always be in line with the Word.