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Reflections in the Dark

 Sitting in a rocker, in the dark, a sound machine blasting "beach waves," I forget about the chaos of the day for a moment. 

The frustrating moments.

The tantrums.

The nap refusals.

The sass.

And I just hold on to this moment, rocking my big 4 year old as he falls asleep in my lap.

His face isn’t that of a baby anymore. He’s a little boy now.
Growing and changing every single day.
When he asks to cuddle, everything else stops, because one day will be the last day he requests to snuggle his mama.

I know there are trials ahead.
I know the frustration, worry, overall consuming “mom life” is not going to end or get easier- it will just change as he gets older.
And I’ll find ways to adapt and change with him.
I’ll still be relying on many minute prayers throughout my day.
Still relying on Jesus to get me through it.
And still relying on my favorite coffee shop to supply me with quality caffeine & peaceful escape.

But for now, I’m going to sit in the moment.
Sit with this little boy cuddled on my lap.
Sleeping soundly.

Praying the Lord will bless him and draw him near to Himself.

Praying and surrendering him to Jesus, trusting He knows him and loves him more than I ever could.

For now, I love on him and keep him safe.
I teach him.
Guide him.
And snuggle him every. Single. Time.
For now, I stop thinking about the frustrations of our day and rest in knowing he feels loved and secure.
Rest in knowing he is God’s gift to me and it is an honor and privilege to raise him and watch him grow.


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